Friday, July 07, 2006

What's wrong with the Left according to Gutfeld

Greg Gutfeld is a regular on the Huffington Post and is one of the funniest bloggers out there. He also may be the only reason to read the Huffington Post. He is outstanding today with a column on some of the Left's pet obsessions. Some excerpts:

- the left refuses to believe that the biggest threat to mankind isn't man's destruction of the planet, but ideology-based envy-driven homicidal maniacs who kill their own people for selling ice and falafel on the street. Granted, I hate falafel (it's fal-awful!), but that's no reason to behead someone. Cut off a hand - I can live with that.

- the reason why the left cannot agree that terrorism and islamic fundamentalism are the real threat is because to do so would force them to agree with George Bush. This is a horrifying thought, since for them Bush is a far bigger enemy than the soulful types who fly planes into buildings. People who fly planes into buildings are simply misunderstood, and it's America's fault for not understanding them. This makes me feel sad! Being misunderstood is hurtful. I would fly a plane into a building too, if I wasn't so scared of flying. And buildings.

- So rather than focus on real threats, the left must turn to rabid environmentalism as a point of difference. They cannot betray their own egos and agree with the rest of us about the nature of present-day evil- they need to carve out that one last spot on the wrongway world of the leftwing ideology to plant their feet and say, "You are a bad person for ignoring humanity's horrors committed against Mother Earth." The left clings to the ideology like a urine-stained teddy bear because it's all they've got.
...
Because while jihadists have stated openly -- and acted quite assertively --that they want to kill us, all of you would like us to think global warming is a greater pending problem. Just to remind you all: Gore was VP for 8 years. That's 56 years in HuffPo dog years and your dogs did nor said NOTHING to stop the global warming hyper-phenomenon. NOTHING.


Oh. My. Word.

Precious.

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